Everyone is experiencing different challenges as a result od Covid-19. Some peoples biggest struggle is with the health issues associated with the virus itself, for others it may be the isolation or social distancing rules. And many people have lost out on important events that had to be rescheduled or permanently cancelled. And a large percentage of people are experiencing severe financial challenges with their businesses or… at a personal level. But the purpose of this communication is not to restate the negative but instead to share some positive thoughts in this challenging time. 

Hope. For many of us, this is one of the biggest challenges of our lives. No matter what we may have heard, this is not the end of the world and we will get through it. Challenges are never easy, but they do have a way of flushing out opportunities for those willing to search for them. It may be hard to see a better picture for our future, but I believe that the best is yet to come. 

Encouragement. Leaders are created for times like these, and you are a leader. You may be the leader in a business that you own or lead in another company, if so, people need you right now. Not just to make good business decisions, but to help people deal with their own thoughts, perceptions, and challenges. You may be the leader in an organization, church, or school and this is an amazing opportunity to model great servant leadership to others in your organization, especially upcoming future leaders. Or you may be a leader in your family, which in my opinion, may be the biggest leadership responsibility we will ever have. And now as families are forced to stay home together, wonderful things can happen, despite what is happening outside that home. 

Advice. There is a seemingly endless supply of negative news bombarding our eyes and ears daily. We must be careful of how we lead ourselves during this time. It is important and valuable to clearly understand facts that will help us make good choices, yet not become so overwhelmed by the negative, such that we are unable to see all the positive. It may take some conscious effort to identify them, but there are some good things happening. People are becoming more aware of those things that are essential, or really important in their lives, and we as leaders can help people be more aware of those positive things, which will not only improve current circumstances, but have the potential to positively rewrite the future of a business, organization, family, or person. 

Love. This does not need to be a time saturated with fear, frustration, anger, or regret, it can be a rewarding time of giving love, value, and respect. A chance to not only recognize those things, or those people, who are precious to us, but to also make sure that they know it. It can be a time remembered for helping families became closer or stronger. Or the rewards of a team of people who pull together to not only show love, value, and respect for each other, but to become opportunity hunters, and make the best of whatever this pandemic may be forcing upon them. Every person has two lists. One includes all those things we do not have or are unthankful for. The other contains those things that we have or are thankful for. It is up to us which list we choose to focus on. 

Thousands of lives are attached to each one of us, and this is a tremendous opportunity to become more aware of those precious relationships and to not only help others get through this time but build a better future because of it. 

I Believe in You, 

Hank Wagner 

It is very well documented that people see in pictures. If I say the words red elephant, do you immediately see the letters “r-e-d  e-l-e-p-h-a-n-t”, or do you see an image of a red elephant? We also have those same pictures that represent of view of our future and what is possible for us.

And some of that picture that we subconsciously imagine about ourselves is because… of a piece of equipment that came with us when we were formed. It is called a self-limiting, rear view, mirror. It automatically looks at our past and then concludes that who we have been, is who we are. And then it effortlessly informs us that it also is who we are destined to become.

Think of something that you failed at when you were young, and did not continue with until you overcame it? How about speech class in school? Did you thoroughly enjoy giving speeches in front of your class? Most people are very afraid to speak in front of others, and some of that is because they associated their fear with a past failure. And then, because of that failure, their picture of their future does not include any public speaking in it, thanks to that self-limiting rear-view mirror.

I believe that we must be very careful about how we use that rear-view mirror. Our past has already been written, and there is nothing we can do about it other than learn from it. And we should indeed learn from it. We should never beat ourselves up, or anybody else for that matter, because of making a mistake, sometimes that is how we learn. One of my mentors says, “Fail early, and fail often”. We must accept that failing or making mistakes is a part of life. Many people focus hard on eliminating all mistakes or failures. They “think” that the best path to become better, or more valuable, is to not make mistakes. I would like to challenge that thinking.

You probably don’t remember your first steps that you made as a young child, but I am quite confident that you fell, numerous times. What if you had decided at that time walking must just not be for you? There is a very long list of other things that you do now that are easy for you, that were at one time hard. It seems that when we are young, the rear-view mirror is not yet functioning, and we just continue to fail as we master whatever we are in pursuit of.

Why can’t we still ignore that mirror as we get older just like we did as a child? Who says that just because we have failed at something, means success in that area can not be in our future? I believe that just like when we learned to walk, failure is sometimes necessary in the process of learning. We should not get up looking for a place to fail, but we should be willing to step out of our comfort zones, knowing and accepting that we may fail.

Can you see a picture for yourself that is bigger, or better, that where your currently are? Are you willing to ignore that rear-view mirror to get there? I believe that your best is yet to come!

What is next in your life? Have you pondered that question lately, or have you resigned to thinking that for the rest of your days here on earth, you will just take whatever each day brings? A short phrase from one of my favorite Disney movies, the Lion King, comes to mind here. “Hakuna matata”, is a phrase that comes from the Swahili language in Africa and translated means “no worries”. There is a period in the movie where the easy-going characters Simba, Timon, and Pumba, live out that phrase by simply taking what each day gives them, and not worrying about it.

I certainly will never tell anyone to purposely worry about anything. Worry is a very damaging process that brings no positive fruit to our lives. Someone once told me that, “Worry is like interest, paid in advance, on something we may never own”. In the movie as the three unlikely friends live out their “no worries” lifestyle, something unexpected happens. Each of them comes to the realization that there is purpose and destiny attached to their lives. They become more aware of how other lives are dependent on them living out their purpose. And as they took steps to move in the direction of what they new they were supposed to do, they found out it wasn’t always easy. But they also found deep fulfillment in serving others, and living a life guided by vision and purpose.

I know, its just an animated Disney movie, right? If you have seen The Lion King, you realize that we all know people who are living out lives that resemble one of the characters in that movie. Which one are you, and where are you in your journey called life? Or maybe it is time to ask, “What is next?”

I love to ask questions, which is one of the reasons I love coaching. And most times when I ask the “What is next” question I get this blank, deer in the headlights kind of look. And then comes, “I don’t know”, or “I’m not sure”, or more often that you would think, “I have no idea!” And then there is a sincere question that often follows, “How do I know what my purpose in life is?”

I believe that there are many important clues to help us answer that very important question. The people around us can help guide us to the answer, but we must be very, very, careful who we listen to. Let’s go back to the movie for a moment, Simba was told by his uncle Scar that he made too many big mistakes and that he had no business thinking that he could be a king. Unfortunately, Simba listened to him and for a time was of little value to anyone as he avoided his true purpose. Then several other characters in the movie informed him of his potential, and his purpose, and what did he do? He was unwilling to listen and instead looked at his failures to confirm that he could not possibly accomplish great things.

And once again, these same things are happening in most of our lives. We all have people around us who resemble the character Scar, they are dream killers and we must be careful of their negative influence. We have all made mistakes and many of them have contributed to our best learning and the depth of our character. And we all have those people around us who believe in us and encourage us to be all that we can be, we must listen to them.

Another clue to knowing what is next is by being more aware of those things that you are passionate about, or those things that cause purposeful irritation, both could be clues to your destiny. And sometimes we just fall into circumstances that help reveal our destiny, and I have a few life experiences to back that one up if you need more proof!

 

Please write us and let us know if there is a question or topic you would like us to speak to in this blog or an upcoming class. And never forget. “You are full of purpose, you have seeds of greatness already in you, and the best is yet to come! ” To write to us click the following link:  https://becomebetterleaders.com/contact/

Our thinking is very important, it is the one thing that starts everything else in motion. All of words, actions, behaviors, beliefs, and even future thinking, is largely determined by our current thinking.

 

I promised in our last blog to give you some tips on changing our thinking and I will do that, but first let me help you understand a little more about the complexity and significance of our thoughts. The average person has between…50,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day, and 95% of those are the same ones they had the day before!

 

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition will one day become reality”. Once we “consciously choose” to tell our subconscious that something is truth, it immediately goes to work to live out that command. Our subconscious does not first decide if what we told it is truth. It also does not know right from wrong, it just accepts whatever we tell it, which is a very strong clue to the danger of wrong thinking. Once we pass off our beliefs to our subconscious, most times unknowingly, it works 24/7 looking for evidence to show us that what we believe is correct, or true, even if it isn’t.

 

So, I hope that it is becoming clearer that a big reason for what is currently happening in our lives, good or bad, is directly related to our current thinking. And our future, whatever we would like it to look like, is dependent on our thinking. If your life is perfect, don’t change any of your thoughts, but if you would like more success in some area, your thinking is the place to start.

 

Here are some steps to help with changing your thinking, and in turn change your life. And just so you know, every time your life improves, it positively effects all the lives attached to yours.

1. Be more aware of your current thoughts and how those thoughts are impacting your present life, and your future.
2. Take every thought captive. You are the police officer charged with standing guard over all of your thoughts. No other person can do this important task for you. Be especially focused on the things you think about “all” the time, they are the thoughts that really impact your future.
3. Listen to the words you speak, they are very helpful clues to understand your beliefs, and the thinking that caused them. If you want to know what is in the heart of a person just listen to them, out of the heart, the mouth speaks. Listening to our own words, and the emotion behind them, can reveal a lot about ourselves. If you don’t believe this, have a person video you during a conversation while you are discussing something that you are passionate about, and then watch yourself.
4. Speak to yourself. I intentionally told you to listen to the words that you speak, before, I mentioned choosing the words that you speak. It is very valuable to always listen to ourselves, but it is also extremely important to choose the words that we speak. Words have tremendous power in the lives of others, but they can also be crucial in transforming our own lives. “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition will one day become reality”. Identify any thing you wish to change in your thinking, and then speak to yourself about it. Tell yourself over and over, until your subconscious accepts your “new” thinking as truth.
5. You rarely achieve more than you can picture in your mind. The vision and beliefs that you have of yourself are directly related to your thinking. Establishing clear vision for yourself, and keeping it before you, can go a long way to help change your thinking, or even reinforce correct thinking.
6. Ask for help. Find an accountability partner and ask them to help you on this important journey. Ask them to listen to your words, and remind you whenever your words or actions, are not in agreement with the thinking that you desire. Spouses can be great accountability partners, but so can other family members, friends, or coworkers. You might also consider a mentor or a coach to help you with changing your thinking.

 

Be careful of your thoughts, they are writing your future!

I believe that this is an extremely important question that we don’t consciously, ask ourselves often enough.  It sounds like an easy, yes, or no, question, but it is so much more than that. It is a question that is too often subconsciously answered, by our own belief systems, that we have stored up over the course of our life. Those beliefs that all of us have embedded deep in our thinking, and in our hearts, were established at a very young age.

Studies have shown that eighty percent of a person’s belief systems are… in place by the time we are eight years old. One of the reasons to be very careful how we train up our young children, and a clue to why the often negative, unsupervised impacts of technology, are setting up our children for future consequences, in their lives and the lives of people around them. One-hundred percent of a person’s belief system is in place by the time we are eighteen years old. At that stage of life learning usually takes a different path. Young children are known for their curiosity, and a seemingly unending quest to ask questions. Those questions slowly subside as we get older, because we get them answered, and they become our beliefs.

Our subconscious mind then works 24/7 to help us live out those beliefs. Our subconscious seeks to help us do whatever those beliefs are, regardless if they are right or wrong, good, or bad, truth or lie.

Now back to the simple question, “Is it possible?” That question is being answered for us all day, every day, by our subconscious mind. For example, if I were to send you an invitation to speak to a large group of people, what would your answer be? Are you crazy! No way! I am not a speaker! I can’t do that! All different versions of NO! And most, if not all, of those answers would come to you with little, or no conscious thought. Your subconscious already informed you that you could not do such a thing based on your beliefs about yourself, and your perceived capabilities.

I am sure that you have heard this quote, “Whether you say, “I can”, or “I can’t”, you are right. That statement is true, and it is also directly linked to the question, “Is it possible?” The answer to this seemingly simple question, “Is it possible?”, can accurately forecast a person’s future. It is often the first step to be able to accomplish something bigger than ourselves, a belief that it can happen. The answer to this extremely important question also accurately reveals a person’s “current” thinking and/or beliefs.

How this question is answered also identifies why some people achieve more that others. Our belief systems, and our thinking, has also allowed our subconscious mind to remind us of our limitations, coming mostly from our past failures or mistakes. It will tell us that we can’t speak in front of people because of our fear related to a negative experience from our past, such as a failure in speech class back in school. Our subconscious will be there to inform us of everything that is not possible for us. Unfortunately, it’s assessment is based on our past and/or current beliefs, rather than on what can truly happen.

The good news is we can change our thinking and set our subconscious mind on a different path. The bad news is that it is not as easy as it sounds. Stay tuned for more on this in our next blog!

There is almost always a price, or cost, associated with improvement. And that price usually must be paid, before, we get the rewards that we should expect to come from the improvement. Many times, people are unwilling to pay the price of improvement, because they lack the ability to see a picture(vision), of what life could be like after the investment in the improvement is made. This principle applies with almost everything, businesses, organizations, families, relationships, and even our own individual personal lives.

The first cost is what most people think of when we talk about cost, money. Often, we get what we pay for, cheap or inexpensive, is not always best. For those of you who may not know, our family also operates a large dairy farm. We made an investment of over one million dollars in some strategic improvements at our farm over the last six months. It is sometimes painful to write out checks for things that you can’t yet see. It requires vision, which is one of the most important responsibilities of leaders, but also a level of faith. After a six month “cost” season in our dairy business we will now be able to transition over to harvesting the rewards of the investment in our dairy business. It is insane to think that we can skip the investment, or cost, and just harvest the rewards.

The same is true with organizations we are involved in, our families, relationships, and personal growth. If we are not spending money to improve them, we should not expect to reap the rewards, that can only come from first making an investment.

The second cost is something far more valuable than the first one we talked about, but most people don’t see it that way, time. Time is not something you can buy, we only get so much of it and that alone makes it very valuable. We all get 1,440 minutes every single day, or 168 hours per week, that we get to “choose” how to “spend”. And yes, spend is the right word to use because once time is spent, just like money it is gone. And like money, what we receive, will also be related to what we “spent” our time on.

I believe that another important way to look at how we spend our time, is by being more aware of what we don’t have because the hourglass runs empty. Almost everyone I talk to has something that they would like to do more of, but, they need more time. Every time we choose to spend some of the 168 hours per week that we are allotted, it takes away from the balance we have left which directly impacts our ability to do something else.

Over the last six months I invested a huge block of time in our dairy business improvements, that time had to be taken away from other things, which is the main reason you have not heard from Wagner Leadership Training in a while. Time is very valuable and like money should be spent wisely on things we wish to have a harvest in.

The third cost is mistakes, or failure. This is a big one, and can be looked at two different ways. Many people feel bad about making mistakes, and can only feel better about themselves, by not making them. It is true that there is a cost to making mistakes, but I would say that the biggest cost associated with mistakes, is not making enough of them! Some of the wisest people I know, are people who have made a pile of mistakes, what puts them in a special category is the fact that they learned from them, and became wiser because of it. The thought of failure paralyzes people, and they avoid them at all “costs”, not realizing the lessons they are missing.

Once again, I will take this cost back to the business improvements we just made in our dairy business. We tried some new things, and yes, we failed a few times, but we also learned each time, and have some exciting changes because we were willing to risk failure, and then when it happened we learned, adjusted, and then continued.

So, whatever is in your plans this year, I would encourage you to spend some strategic money, in a place that you want more harvest.  Do a time budget and be diligent about investing some of your valuable time, in an area that is important to you. And finally, plan to make some mistakes! Don’t get up each morning trying to make a mistake, but be willing to step out and try some new things knowing that you may make a mistake, and when you do learn from it, make the adjustment, and continue!

And if you need help, Wagner Leadership Training can help, it’s what we do. “We Grow People.”

I would like to share a few lessons from a special book that I received recently for my birthday. It is not a book that you will find on any best seller lists, or in any bookstore. I have around six hundred books in my library, and this one may always be my favorite. To you, this book might not be all that special, or significant. It is a book that was put together by my daughter Laura, and the hearts of over seventy-five other people. There are a few very important lessons from this very special book, that I would like to share with you.

 

1. Words are very powerful. Words, spoken, or written, have tremendous power. They have the ability to build up, encourage, appreciate, and acknowledge. They can show thankfulness, mercy, kindness, and love. Words can also have the opposite effect on the lives of others, and can be as equally powerful, in bringing very negative outcomes to the innermost parts of other people. Choose words carefully, before, they are spoken.
2. Words cost nothing, but can be very costly, or more precious than all the finest gold. I am not sure how much this book cost, but it is a thousand times more valuable, than the money it took to physically make it. The precious, heartfelt words in it, are what creates its tremendous value. The gift of words assembled in this book are to me, far more valuable than things money could buy. Wrong words, that maybe should never be spoken, or written, may seem free, but can have the opposite effect, and be very costly. Wrong, hurtful words, can damage important relationships, or if repeated too often, can completely destroy a relationship.
3. Words are clues, that reveal what is in the heart of a person. If you want to know what is in the heart of a person, all we need to do is listen. The words in this book, and the people who wrote them, bring me great joy and thankfulness, because it is a beautiful picture of many loving, caring, and very thoughtful people, something that our world today can use more of. The words a person chooses to speak, along with their tone of voice, and body language, give a very accurate picture into the heart of another person. Words, spoken or written, will clearly reveal beautiful hearts filled with love, compassion, and integrity, they will also expose hearts that contain things like anger, bitterness, and jealousy. When listening to words spoken by people, it is also a great practice to listen to our own, sometimes we may be surprised at what we can learn about our own hearts by the words we speak.
4. Never waste an opportunity to speak, or write, words of love, respect, appreciation, and encouragement. About twenty years ago I was about to give a speech to about five hundred people, and I was terrified. Shelly Mayer, a great friend of mine, saw that I was about to pass out, and stepped in to save me. Right before I was to step on stage, she placed one hand on each of my shoulders, aggressively shook me, and then looked me squarely in the eye, while sternly saying, “Hank, just speak from your heart.” Shelly’s extremely valuable advice, saved me from disaster during that speech, but it also forever changed my perspective on the value of speaking from the heart. This book that I received from several very special people, are just that, words from the heart. I will be forever grateful for everyone who took time to allow their heart to be put to paper. It may seem easier for some people to roll eloquent words off their tongue, if that is not you, please still strive to allow the beauty that is in your heart, to be given away to others.

I would like to take a moment to thank, appreciate, and honor, fathers. Not just current fathers, but all past, present, and future fathers. Being a father is an extremely honorable role. It is not the physical act of becoming a father that is so important and honorable, it is what we do with that role of father, that makes us an extremely important person. When that miraculous event takes place, and that small little baby takes their first breath, our important journey begins.

We immediately become a father, the only father that a child will ever have. We will be one of the biggest influences on our child’s future, even if we don’t intentionally try to be. Even fathers who choose to not be involved in the lives of their children, impact those precious young lives in a big way. Young girls base a lot of their expectations regarding their future husband, and potentially the future father of her children, on the example that was lived out, through her father. Often fathers who have never been involved in their daughter’s lives, still have a big impact on those daughters, usually in a negative way.

Sons are watching every move that their fathers make. They watch and listen to all conversations. They will likely repeat words, body language, and attitudes, that they see modeled by their fathers. Even when we don’t realize it, our sons are watching how we treat other people, and they will likely repeat much of what they see. They will see, and take note, of things like anger, frustration, love, and forgiveness.

One of the most crucial places that children will watch, and learn, is the relationship their father has with their mother. One of the best things a father can do for his children, is to love their mother. Our children will watch the interactions of that relationship, more than any other, and it may impact their future, more than any other earthly relationship.

I used to think that being a father was the most important leadership role that I have, but my thinking has changed. We have the amazing power of choice, and can use it to alter our future. Our past does not need to be our future, and what kind of father, or leader, we are, should not just be determined, by our very critical childhood examples. Who we become as a father, and as a leader, is largely determined by our appetite to invest in ourselves, and strive to be the best that we can be. As fathers, we should take the best from our father, but also hunger to take it to a higher level, by intentionally striving to be the best father we can be. Great fathers, and great leaders, understand the importance and value of investing in the most important leadership responsibility we have, leading ourselves. All our leadership, including being a father, comes from who we become, on the inside, and that is our most important leadership responsibility.

People are not robots or computers, but sometimes it may feel that way. Increasingly more automation continues to take over our world. Whether you believe it to be a good or bad thing, won’t change the fact that more of it is coming. And it is not only affecting our workplace, technology and automation are also taking over in our personal lives.

A generation ago we thought the remote control for our TV was technology that could not be outdone. And now we have small units that sit in our homes and take commands from us. They make calls for us, remind us to do things, and can even get our meals delivered for us. And then there are the robotic vacuums, with laser driven mapping technology, that are taking over cleaning chores in our homes and offices.

All this technology must be programmed and told how, and where, to perform its task. Once it is programmed to do things a certain way, it repeats those same tasks, in the same way, until it is programmed differently. If this expensive technology receives the wrong programming or the wrong instructions, it will not perform the way we expect it too. If we programmed into the vacuum to clean the kitchen, we would not expect it to be cleaning the bedrooms.

So, what does this have to do with people? I have always said that people are not robots or computers, and should not be treated that way, and for the most part, that is still true. However, people are also “programmed” to do things a certain way, and may not even realize it. And just like the programmable technology, if we are programmed to do it the wrong way, we will also get an undesirable result.

We have all been “programmed” to subconsciously do hundreds of activities throughout our day. It is a complicated process to understand, but the bottom line is, actions that are repeated, become habits, and those habits turn into behaviors.  The scary part is that those habits and behaviors, then automatically get repeated over and over, without us even thinking about them.

Sounds a little bit like the programmable technology we talked about earlier, doesn’t it? The good news is, we can change our habits and behaviors. The bad news is, it will be much easier to reprogram a robot than it will be to change a person’s habits. Science tells us that it takes 18 to 254 days to develop, or change, a habit. Habits can be very hard to change, but the rewards are great. Change your habits, change your future.